My sun has already been covered. who knows..? no one..?

I am so sad, stress and angry at the same time.

There is alot of things i dunno. Alot of things i didnt know wat to do or handle.

Relationship, family, money and school.

Call me weak, yes i dun deny that.

Call me spoilt, yes i am spoilt.

Call me childish, yes i am immature.

I gladly take in all kinds of judgement u pass me.

I dun really care though.

My brother suddenly calls me quietly and said he was going to die...? I was like wtf..? He told me that he knew his body very well, he said he is having alot of health problems recently.. he didnt want to go check up.. i dun know why.. he just said he rather enjoy eating and doing all the things he can do rather than being confine by the doc..

He is stubborn, he wont listen when i asked him to go see the doc. There is nothing i can do but to sit here wait till he dies? Come on... I DUN EVEN KNOW IF HE IS SERIOUSLY GOING TO DIE ANOT? What if it is just a small problem and he is just over reacting? I DUN KNOW I RLY DUN KNOW. He didnt want parents to know... is there anything i can do now? no?

Funny.. i used to hate him so much and yet now i didnt want him to die.

Funny.. i used to cursed him and yet now i regreted?

Funny.. why do i feel like crying if he is going to die?

Answers..? My mind is swirling.

What about my project at school? I dun know when do i need to pass up my report and its not even started yet. Life gets fucked up. Something happened on Penang that is messing with my mind now. Also I have been spending alot of my parents money too recently.

I wanted to speak to my buddy but he is not there. forget it nvm about it. its not his fault anyway. But Dear ks, if u are reading this, dun take it personally. .

U need to have control over the salary u just got and not just spending it all on food and alcohol. Infact drinking too much is not good for the body either. Probably the last time im saying this. Ur life, u live the way u want.

For readers,

Im so sorry that u have to go through this 9 paragraph of crap.

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-Yunzai's Bedtime story-

Crayons-

I was born in a normal family like alot of people out there. Mum and dad brought me a pencil and paper one day. Happily, i begin to start drawing on the paper. Even though the picture i drew was not perfect but i was content with it.

Slowly the picture is finished, i found a crayon box on the floor. I hestitated.. i was afriad that i might messed up my picture. But the colours was tempting so i stretch out my hand to reach it.

.

It was like magic or u could say magnet. Everytime i reach for the crayon box, the further it went away from my position. Crazy as it sounds but it happened.. the crayons suddenly got out of the box and started walking on their own.

Some crayons went to hide, some ran away and some came to my picture and started to destroy my picture. I was stunned for a moment.. Desperate to save my picture, i ran to save it. But i was too late.. the picture has already been messed up with different colours.

Sad? Who wont? Who say man dun cry? Whats more.. im still a kid.

After a few days, my friends came over to my house. A few have already picture coloured nicely yet they are still either complaining that it wasnt good enough or the crayons sucks or disappear. Some was still not coloured yet but it was still better than mine since mine was messed up.

Its sad and depressing to see other kids outside with crayons on their hand and their picture was coloured nicely. Envy them. Angry with fate or god or watever u call it.

Crayons.. 2 killed my picture.

How would i even dare to pick up another one?

Even if i like the colour of that special crayon so so so much.. =(

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