Saturday, November 29, 2008

my dad

here i am..
12.38a.m. & 28 nov 2008
Sitting infront my laptop

blogging because..

Im dedicating this post to my dad..
yea.. my dad. (:

---------------------------------
我爸爸的背影

Around 12.10am
I was browsing around the website as usual. Listening to musics and etc. Then suddenly i heard some door opening noises. It was from my parent room. I knew it was my dad. He went to work early in the morning everytime.

Around 12.15am
After the song i was listening ended. I went out of my room immediately to find my dad as usual.. to talk, tease with him and then open the door for him. But wat i saw first thing i step out of my room.. is my dad in pain.

Around 12.20am
I always knew that my dad sometimes had problem with his foot. For some reason, sometimes his foot will be swollen. But this time.. its different. I saw him in pain and going to work so as to feed us( my mum and his son). JUST TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE FOOD ON THE TABLE AND MAKE SURE THAT I CAN STUDY IN SCHOOL!!

I am so guilty. I cant do anything to help. There is nothing i can do to ease his pain.. all i could do is asking him if it is really pain and if he is alright. He didnt reply any question i asked. I opened the door for him and waitied with him for the lift to come. I said bye, he did too. That is when i had a view on his back. 那就是我看到爸爸的背影的时候.

I love my dad. I do.
He protected me from my mum's cane-ing when i was at primary school whenever i got a bad result for english and etc. He took me where i wanted go if i requested it. He didnt complain at all.

In secondary school, whenever i feel down with my schoolwork. He is always there to comfort me and give me encouraging words. He make sure i have enough money when i go out. Never once did he ever reject me when i asked him for money.

He dote me alot. Sometimes when i returned home from poly and my mum's food is not to my liking, i would complain and complain. And there he is.. going to the kitchen just to fix up something nice for me to eat.

EVERYTHING HE COOK IS DAMN NICE.. YET ALL I DO WAS SAID "THANKS"! WTF I FEEL SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I COULD DO!!??

i am fucked up. im a bad son.
yes.. Vesper 黄建云,
you are a failure. you are selfish. you only cared about your own interest. have you ever thought about your father!?

time to wake up. seriously.
i should stop being childish.
and make sure i can make him proud
when i grow older.

____________________________
I love my dad.
Because
he is my dad.
& everything he did..
for me, his son.


@ 12:41 AM